11 Unrelated and Basically Useless Things I Learned This Week

1. I learned that Ashley is to blame for the winter we’ve been having. Turns out when she decorates her mantel, nature reacts accordingly. She decorated it with lots of snowflakes; we had lots of snow. I propose that she now install one of these on her mantel:


…and also that she avoid decorating with, say, a bunch of squirrels. The last thing this world needs is more squirrels.

2. I learned that this chocolate mug cake is a fabulous way to lose your willpower to eat less like a slovenly pig and more like a girl who needs to fit into her pre-pregnancy pants unless she wants to endure the nightmare that is pants-shopping. It will enchant you with its two-minute start-to-finish siren song, despite all attempts to steer your boat past it, and then continue to lure you in by making you think how great it would be topped off with chocolate peanut butter ice cream.

chocolate-mug-cake-tablefortwoblog-5Please pin from the original source

Before you know it, you will be in a chocolate coma and/or living Homer’s Odyssey and/or both. (We can all probably agree that the epic as a whole would have been significantly improved had chocolate peanut butter ice cream been at the ready. Homer, my man,—may I call you my man?— sometimes you just have to accept the fact that literary greatness only gets you so far.)

3. I learned that bouncing on an exercise ball while blogging is a good way to A) feel better about yourself after you eat a whole bunch of cake and ice cream, B) make your legs feel as though they are comprised of gelatinous sponges that have been run over by a dump truck, and C) feel better about your decision not to instead attempt this with your exercise ball:

exercise ballsource-ish

4. I learned that no matter how perfectly and snugly you put socks on a baby, said baby will devise a way to get them off again in no more than 18 seconds, and there is a distinct possibility that this time, at least one of the socks will be lost forever.

monkey socks

5. I learned that you can compensate for a baby’s lack of socks by placing a giant bow on her head. You know, for warmth.


6. I learned that peach floral wallpaper has been lurking beneath the wainscoting in our kitchen and that if I could travel back in time I would beg the previous owners not to slather the walls in river rock textured paint.


7. I learned that when your baby gets up at 6:30 AM on church day, you have no excuse to not actually blow-dry and straighten your hair for the first time in like a year. (I’m not exaggerating. I know, I make it a rule to Not Be Taken Seriously. But for real. Take me seriously this time.) You can lessen the gravity of this monumental event by making weird faces while your husband tries to capture it on film.


…and also by making faces that suggest you are about to eat your child.


8. I learned how to make my own social media icons using the tutorial I mentioned here. It was painless except for the fact that I basically have a better chance of recreating that ball maneuver from #3 than understanding html code. (But see the buttons up there? They work. Miraculously. Feel free to follow along if you don’t already!)

social media

9. I learned that my baby is cute.


10. I learned that I already knew my baby was cute, and that I just wanted an excuse to include more pictures of her in my post.


11. I learned that when I write about chocolate peanut butter ice cream, I am basically required to also eat some so that I can accurately capture the full essence of what I’m describing. And then I end up freezing and pining for that oven, and then I get too hot and need to eat more ice cream, and it’s like “When You Give a Moose a Muffin” only less of a page-turner and higher in calories.

Hope you have a great weekend! :)

ps-I just added some more ads to my site and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know if anything annoying pops up like a video ad.


  1. Your baby girl certainly is adorable! Ah...the lost baby sock. I am right there with you. The only socks my two seem to keep on are the Trumpette brand. :) I also but Robeez crib shoes on them too because they stay on 99% of the time. I can't wait to see what you do once you get rid of that lovely wallpaper. :)

  2. i am going to go write about cinnamon oatmeal cookie ice cream if it requires me eating some.
    you guys are so adorable- this was such a fun post!
    and yes- i am with megan and adored robeez!

    1. Ummmmm time out—there is such a thing as cinnamon oatmeal cookie ice cream?! Why have I been in the dark about this for 27 whole years?! Now I need to eat massive amounts of it to make up for lost time.

  3. Haha! Oh my gosh, this was great way to start my day! My baby does the same thing with his socks! Why do they want their feet to be cold so badly?

    1. Sometimes I’m a bad mama and leave them off on purpose so I can see her piggy toes. ;) I said my next baby needs to be a warm-weather baby so the piggy toes don’t get hidden away!

  4. Hahaha! Don't worry, there are no squirrels! Just some flowers and birds, but not a lot of birds, so hopefully we don't end up feeling like we're in a Hitchcock movie! ;)

  5. Your babe is the cutest! And your posts are the most amusing. :)

  6. darn that ashley, what is she trying to do to us? I think a bow makes up for no socks...it's fine she looks happy?!

  7. I try not to get too attached to any of our kid's socks. Invariably Home Depot or Target will claim a couple a month. At least you only lose them until they're shoe age and then you get to seal them on.

  8. I love this. All of it.

    Although, seriously? You just figured out your baby is cute? Momma, dry your hair and PAY ATTENTION.

    And I'm happy to know who to blame for this weather. Horrible.

  9. I had a lady follow me down an entire mall (I kept moving faster, 'cause I just knew she was a stalker...) with a yellow sock my little man had managed to kick off. After she caught up and handed me the tootsie cover, she saw how handsome my son was and tried to sign us up for a modeling career. See! I knew she was a creeper.

  10. David says you and I make the same weird face. PS - I thought I left Kenley's gift out but now believe it is in fact boxed up...so you'll probably get it in time for her 1st birthday. I kid...sort of. ;)

  11. Hahah awesome! And not totally useless! Your baby IS super cute. And mine must also be a part of the league of babies conspiring to shed and hide ALL THE SOCKS. Also, that chocolate mug cake is making me both regret but also realize the importance of the fact that I brushed and flossed already tonight. But seriously, that looks insane. In the best way.


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