That time a sewing machine diagram kicked my butt.

So I realized over the weekend that there’s this soul-crushing presence that nobody ever talks about. And no, I’m not referring to the grown-up realization that Full House is incredibly corny or the cat barf that you find lurking in a dark corner like four months after it was, um, deposited.

I’m referring to sewing machine guides. Specifically the diagrams in sewing machine guides. Specifically the diagrams in sewing machine guides that are supposed to GUIDE you. And ideally not off of a cliff.


Because let’s face it: this is the worst diagram ever and it probably wants to eat my soul for breakfast.


According to this diagram and its sorry use of arrows, you should use a decapitated finger to assemble the thread as such:

sewing machine


Did I mention that I have had zits larger than the actual size of that diagram? What you see featured here is the I-zoomed-in-with-my-camera version. Real estate in Quick Start guides is apparently slim.

Seriously, all I wanted to do was wind the bobbin.


Somebody get me some chocolate.

Has a diagram ever crushed your soul? Sharing is healthy. Unless it’s zit measurements. Usually that’s a bad idea. Now you tell me.


  1. One of my favorites is when a company uses a diagram that applies to one of their machines in the directions for ALL of their machines. Then they add some note that says something like "image in diagram may not match all models" as if that's supposed to make up for the whole thing making no sense at all.

  2. hah. I got a sewing machine a few months ago. Most of my sewing projects come out like your third pic

  3. Try threading a serger!! No amount of diagrams will help with that baby. As for my sewing machine - the "Self threader" is useless no matter how good the diagrams could be - which they're not. Probably another example of a man designing something used by mostly women.

    1. ha! You're probably right. Somebody should do something about this. Somebody other than me. ;)

  4. bahahaha! Love the demon diagram pic! Yup -- bobbin-winding on some machines can be pretty confusing. When I took Home-Ec (MANY years ago) the "student" machines had this crazy drop in bobbin that I always got in backwards. (Need I mention I receive an "F" in that class?)

    That fuchsia fuzz-ball? Well, a couple years ago I turned my back for a minute when my machine was winding a bobbin & didn't realize my thread somehow got misdirected into all the gearage INSIDE. That was an expensive trip to the Viking repair surgeon! -- all I had to show for it was a softball-sized wad of black thread...

    1. Ouch! (For the F and the surgery.) They don't have home-ec around here anymore; now they either call it "Family & Consumer Sciences" or just mush it into health class. :P

  5. HA! Come on Erin, you don't understand that?
    What is wrong with words? Why must it just be a horrible diagram?

  6. I absolutely HATE my sewing machine directions! It's ridiculous how complicated they are!

  7. i feel like that every flippin time i drag mine out.

  8. That little hook thing pulls the thread through the needle...it's supposed to be easier then pushing the thread through yourself...once you get the hang of it, it is easier but it's ODD figuring it out.

    1. Good to know that there IS hope!

  9. Anonymous2/14/2014

    Ha ha I feel your pain. I just got a new sewing machine for Christmas and the directions are ridiculous and the (bleeping) thread keeps jamming!


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